Why We Tend To Marry Opposites

July 2010 – Personality Pixels

Snapshots of The Personalities

Why We Tend to Marry Opposites

The same — but different?

Most people tend to marry someone with a personality opposite from their own. We are usually attracted to people with qualities and strengths different from ours. A simplified explanation is that we see in them traits we would like to have—and they see that in us.

How does it happen?
Remember the famous philosopher in the movie, Rocky? He explained it clearly in a few words. When asked about his relationship with Adrian, the girl he was going to marry, Rocky quickly answered:

She’s got gaps, I got gaps; together we fill gaps.
– Rocky Balboa

We perceive that the other person has what we need. They fill in our gaps
We usually marry the person who we sense has some of what we don’t.

The Personalities
The first person to label the four basic temperaments was Hippocrates,
a physician and philosopher, more than 2400 years ago. His models are
still being used in personality studies today. A quick glance at the types:

Personality Need
Sanguine (Popular) Have Fun / Likes Attention
Choleric (Powerful) Be in Charge / Direct / Lead
Melancholy (Perfect) Have Everything Perfect/Right
Phlegmatic (Peaceful) Enjoy Peace, No Strife / Likes Ease/Less Effort


You Are a Unique Person

No two people are exactly alike. Each of us is born with a distinct personality.
Personality assessments do not fit everyone into a box. We are a unique person.
We are usually a combination of two types, one more dominant than the other
and in different degrees. That is our genetic nature.

What does this mean for Marriage?
By understanding The Personalities, we can gain valuable insight into ourselves
and the one we love. We can enjoy a happier marriage, experience less conflict,
enhance communication, and the gain the ability to identify and fulfill each others needs.

View The Power of Personality presentation selections on the Speaking Page »

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